As I mentioned in the previous post, I wrote a new book called God, Fatherhood, and Male Postpartum Depression: Finding the Perfect Father from an Imperfect Dad. Last time I shared my story of experiencing postpartum depression. Today, I want to shed a little more light on what this book is and what it looks like. This will provide a clue as to what to expect in the new book.
Countless books have been written about the Almighty God. One book simply cannot capture the Triune God and who He is: indescribable, eternal, and infinite. He has only given us a glimpse of Him and even so, we struggle to find the right words. To address this glimpse God has provided, it would fill volumes of books and yet remain insufficient. In describing the life of Jesus, John said, “Now there are also many other things that Jesus did. Were every one of them to be written, I suppose that the world itself could not contain the books that would be written” (Jn 21:25, ESV). The same is true of the Father.
Much has also been written on the topic of suffering. Understanding the problem of evil and suffering is perhaps the greatest challenge for the unbeliever. Suffering affects us all in some way at various intersections in our lives. Seasons of suffering can cause us to doubt the things we as Christians thought we knew and believed.
Few writings exist on male postpartum depression and many are unaware of what it is; the clinical research is lagging and many do not know the symptoms. The struggles of postpartum depression for males and females are real and tremendous. Someone struggling through the intensity of this season can feel defeated, taking a joyous time and turning it dark. This book is for those who struggle with depression, especially postpartum depression.
This book will not answer every question about God, depression, or suffering. However, my hope and prayer are that this book will cause you to contemplate God more. That your focus will turn from what is seen and felt in the depth of pain to the unseen and the hope of God. I want you to know that whether you struggle with depression like me, postpartum depression (also me), or other season of suffering (I have seen many in my life including cancer), you are not alone. There is help and there is hope. I pray this book leads us to worshiping God.
The time in my life when I faced male postpartum depression was one of the hardest battles I have faced. Maybe you are in a season of suffering too and whether that is male PPD or not, I want you to know that you are loved and not alone. God knows you and loves you. I hope this bite-sized look at these broad topics will be an encouragement to you.
Here is short overview of the book:
God, Fatherhood, and Male Postpartum Depression address the topic of male postpartum depression (PPD), a disease that is rarely talked about and equally unknown. Male PPD affects nearly 25% of dads with newborns and is severely underdiagnosed. The birth of a new baby is a time that should be joyful and exciting, but PPD dads feel isolated, deficient, and weak. They can feel disconnected from the baby, their family, and friends. In the midst of this supposed happy time, feelings of anxiety, anger, and rage ambush them shattering their worth and identity. Many dads struggling with male PPD feel unheard, and while those close to them do not know how to help, they sink deeper into depression.
While no one compares to the perfection, holiness, and righteousness of God the Father, the gulf between the Perfect Father and a depressed father is shown in greater and drastic detail. The attributes of God’s fatherhood are examined to remind the reader who their Father really is. While the depressed dad struggles in each of these areas, the Father holds the sufferer close. The Father’s sovereignty, majesty, glory, love, holiness, righteousness, goodness, mercy, grace, faithfulness, immutability, and wisdom are described, and the depressed dad is encouraged to rely more on the Father and less on themselves. The depressed dad can find hope in God and turn their suffering into worship.
The hope of God, Fatherhood, and Male Postpartum Depression is to help dads struggling with male postpartum depression, and all those struggling with depression, know that they are not alone and there is a Father that loves them in spite of how unlovable they feel. This book will transform reader’s lives by showing the struggle with depression in terms of the physical as well as the spiritual. It will lead the reader to find their worth and value not in things of this world like a spouse, family, possessions, or career, but firmly and only in God.
God, Fatherhood, and Male Postpartum Depression takes the reader’s eyes off of themselves and their issues and focuses them solely on their Holy Father. It encourages dads to follow the example of our heavenly Father and reminds them of how God the Father treats and loves them even when they fail.
Here is an annotated book outline to give you an idea of the topics we will cover:
Preface
- The problem of depression and suffering and the hope of victory in God
- Section 1: Where to Begin
- Introduction
- An introduction to the problem of male postpartum depression that I faced and the importance of focusing on the Father.
- Section 2: Depression, Suffering, and Warfare
- Introduction
An Examination of Male Postpartum Depression (PPD)
- The road to recovery is paved with understanding this undiagnosed disease, understanding the signs and symptoms, and how the reader and their friends and family can help them through it.
- Side Note: As I went through this, I began to do some research to see if I could find a root cause. There was not much. I found that many of my symptoms were similar to what mothers’s battling postpartum depression go through (not the same, just some commonalities). As I looked more and more into it, I found a name. I found some amount of help. I found that males can also go through postpartum depression. This is a hugely undiagnosed disease that is hardly reported for a number of factors including males not knowing how to deal with emotions or just trying to move on. Research has shown that this probably occurs in 1 in every 10 new dads and could be as high as 25%.
- The Role of Spiritual Attacks in Male Post-Partum Depression
- Examining how spiritual warfare impacts the reader during suffering and how they can fight against the ambush of it.
- Suffering and Encouragement
- A general overview of the process of suffering and how God steps into the readers suffering, works in them, and will see them through the pain.
- Section 3: A Tale of Two Fathers – One Perfect and One Struggling
- Depression and God
- The importance of thinking correctly about God is helped by knowing more about Him and what His attributes are.
- God the Father
- Observes how God is represented as Father, what are the Father’s characteristics and roles, and how the reader’s personal experience of a father often affects their perception of God as Father.
- God’s Majesty and Man’s Limitations
- Majesty declares the greatness of God as One who is sovereign and deserving of all glory, while humans are limited in all they do and seek to control their own lives.
- God’s Unconditional Love and Man’s Conditional Love
- The infinite Father’s unconditional love is examined to show He is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, whereas a depressed dad is quick to anger and only loves when he feels loved.
- God’s Holiness and Man’s Uncleanliness
- God’s holiness, or separateness, is the essence of who He is stands in stark contrast to the corrupt nature of humankind.
- God’s Goodness and Man’s Animosity
- When confronted with a good God, the depressed person faces their selfishness and ability to suck away goodness.
- God’s Abundant Mercy and Grace and Man’s Deficiency
- Describing and distinguishing God’s infinite mercy and grace, and the inability for a depressed dad to show either to a person who needs much.
- God’s Faithfulness and Man’s Unfaithfulness
- God’s faithfulness and steadfastness is on full display during times of suffering when the Christian may fail and see themselves as unfaithful.
- The God of Hope, Our Hopelessness, and Hope with God
- God is a God of hope, yet we must first believe in Him through faith in the midst of our depression and hopelessness.
- God’s Immutability and Man’s Transformation
- The perfect and holy God cannot change, while the new dad desires for change in his depressed state.
- God All-Wise and Humanities All-Foolishness
- God is both all-knowing and all-wise, but as a depressed dad feels inadequate and foolish during this struggle, the Father provides the only answer that matters: Himself.
- The Importance of Worship in Suffering
- It can be hard to worship God when a believer is suffering and feels like the Father has left them, but when they turn their eyes to things above, their worship becomes a weapon to fight against their inward struggle and in turn they are strengthened as they declare God to be greater than any circumstance.
- Depression and God
Conclusion
- A final encouragement to the reader to think about what they are feeling, the legacy they display to their kids, and to focus not on the depression or suffering but only on a loving Father.
Bibliography
- A list of all sources used and cited in the book.
Appendix
- A helpful list of verses, hymns, and prayer for the reader to look to when they are in a spiritual warfare battle to remind them of who God is.
The primary audience is a new dad or a dad of a newborn struggling with male postpartum depression. The birth of a baby should be a time of joy and happiness, yet many dads struggling with postpartum depression do not know how to react to the unexpected feelings of rage, anger, anxiety, and sadness. This book discusses the topic of male postpartum depression and how dads struggling with this disease can feel alone and deficient as they encounter peers positive relationships with their children. By providing thoughtful encouragement for themselves and their spouses, understanding the spiritual factors at play, and focusing on God the Father, dads struggling with male PPD can overcome this disease and find healing and restoration with their children.
However, I believe this book will be helpful for all believers because of the focus on the attributes of God as well as the topic of spiritual warfare. Additional audiences include women who struggle with postpartum depression, anyone who struggles with depression, and the sufferer’s loved ones. Additionally, as this book discusses God the Father and His attributes, many Christians not struggling with these issues will find this book helpful.